


I won't back down

by SpaceGaysForDays



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Confessions, F/M, M/M, Pansexual Zeno, Self harm because of zeno, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 02:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceGaysForDays/pseuds/SpaceGaysForDays
Summary: Battles were...Gross. Zeno had never liked them. He'd led a pretty calm life before them but after joining the dragon warriors to protect King Hiryuu....That had changed. Suddenly, there were battles almost every week.





	I won't back down

**Author's Note:**

> A long story I did based off of my headcanons for Zeno's life. It's been months in the making and I hope you enjoy.

Battles were...Gross. Zeno had never liked them. He'd led a pretty calm life before them but after joining the dragon warriors to protect King Hiryuu....That had changed. Suddenly, there were battles almost every week. Trying to form a kingdom wasn't easy after all. Which meant that peaceful life had flown out the window long ago. More often than not, his clothes and skin became matted in blood. Despite the other warriors best attempts to keep him from the fighting, there were times he'd bathe in the castle and go to wash his hair only to see it was clumped together with dark red. 

That was becoming so normal, he'd just stare for a moment before rinsing it and moving on with his bath. 

The benefit of being a dragon "warrior" was great though. Great enough that he could stand clumps of blood in his hair every once in a while. That benefit happened to have hair as red as the blood he'd had in his own and be sitting at the table with a smile every time Zeno left those baths. 

An unexpected, but welcome benefit.

Hiryuu became his comfort. The reason he felt the he didn't have to let the nightmares win. His king who he would protect to the very end if necessary. That's who Hiryuu was to him.

Until one night the nightmares got to be too much.

One night, Hiryuu wasn't enough. Zeno found his skin slick with sweat, the blankets tossed across the room, and his nails dug into the bedding so tightly that if he'd been Gu-En they would've been ripped to shreds. A round of whispering to himself that things were fine and the room was in fact, not, covered in a field of blood soaked corpses for once didn't help. 

Zeno stood on legs as shaky as a newborn deer's and wandered out of the suffocating room. Where he was going, he didn't know. But at the moment, anywhere seemed a lot better than there. 

Maybe a nice bath wou-No, he'd most likely see the water turn red once again. That was not what he needed right now. No, what he needed was somewhere cool, a place where he could relax and feel safe...

That was how he ended up on the wall of the castle, letting the wind blow his hair around like it wasn't already a tangled mess he'd be dealing with all tomorrow morning. Actually, the wind was nice. Chilling him down to the bone...Just the way he wanted after all that warmth earlier. His nails dug into the fabric of his robes. Not as tight as they had been into the sheets, but still tight enough to make his arms shake thanks to his nerves being so tight. "...Ouryuu? I don't hear you anymore...But...if I could...Would you still speak to me?" His breath stuttered as he spoke to seemingly nothing, "Would you offer me any wisdom? Or...Tell me I need to act more fitting of a dragon warrior?" Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. "I know this is necessary...But will it ever get easier?" 

A hand rest on his shoulder as a voice broke the silence,"I like to believe...That it not getting easier is what makes you human." Zeno didn't have to look to know that his king was the one speaking. His eyes closed, pushing the tears out, "Mm...I thought you would lie to me for some reason." Zeno laughed, a little softer than intended. Hiryuu moved into his view, lips curling up into a bit of a smile, "I wouldn't do that to you. That would only make things worse in the long run." Zeno honestly wished he'd still done it. Even if it was a complete lie, he wanted to believe for even a fraction of a second that things were going to get better. He wanted to believe the screams weren't going to hit his ears as soon as his head hit the pillow. He wanted to think that he wouldn't keep seeing the red. He wante-

It wasn't until soft arms wrapped around him in a tight hug, that he processed just how much he was crying. Hiryuu didn't comment, he just let the tears flow till his robes were soaked through.

Zeno sniffled one last time, letting out another laugh. Only this one had a little more strength. "...You know...If people were to see this, they might take it wrong." His joke wasn't good. He knew that. The king was unmarried and the idea of him being with another man was definitely not one the kingdom would be comfortable with. Hiryuu let out a little laugh, to Zeno's surprise, "Oh well, let them take it however they wish." He tilted Zeno's chin up so he had to look at him. 

A small laugh escaped the blonde boy to cover up the way his heart felt like it was reverberating through the cold air, "The other dragons might think you have favorites." 

Hiryuu didn't laugh. He just shrugged and pressed his lips against Zeno's. It wasn't an amazing kiss by any means, something that Zeno couldn't help but smile about. Even as the literal red dragon god, he still wasn't perfect. But...It was still nice. When he pulled back he smiled, "Oh well, since I might actually have a favorite, wouldn't be wrong for them to think that." Both of them stared for a moment before bursting into a round of laughter that had their stomachs aching afterwards. 

Still, it was worth it for the kisses that followed.

\--------------------------

Ever since Zeno had revealed his ability to heal fast to the other dragon warriors, Hiryuu had been careful...

Careful to not mention his ability. Careful to make sure he wasn't going to be near the battle, at least, enough to get hurt. When Zeno questioned him about it, he'd just insisted that he didn't like seeing Zeno hurt, which would result in another round of kisses that had definitely improved since that first one. 

It was one battle when Abi needed carried out and Zeno was slashed across his chest, that he realized just why Hiryuu was so careful when it came to him getting involved in battles. 

Locking himself in his room that night, he held a sword with shaky hands. It’s tip was poised right over his heart and his hands were gripping onto the handle tight. What if...What if he was wrong? What if he died? Hiryuu would be distraught...Abi too...Gu-En and Shuten would probably feel bad because they’d called him useless...Ugh, he needed to just get it over with. If he was wrong...Well, he was wrong. It’d be his fault. With that, he plunged the sword into his heart.

The sound of cloth and flesh ripping mixed with the immediate pain made him gasp in shock. It almost felt like he couldn’t breathe, which would honestly make sense. Maybe this was what dying felt like? One of his hands that had fallen slack at his side, grabbed the sword and yanked it out with only a slight hiss of pain coming through. His eyes squeezed shut and he could taste the sharp hint of metal from a spot he’d been biting on his lip. 

And then, as if he’d never done it...The pain was gone. 

His eyes flew open in shock. Hands searching along his torso but when he looked at them, they’d come away clean. There was nothing. No scratch, no scar, nothing at all to show that he’d just done that. The only sign of it was the sword stained red on his floor and the ripped robe he wore. 

This...This had been real. 

A knock interrupted his thoughts as Hiryuu’s gentle voice came through the door, “Zeno? I was wondering if you wanted to join me in a walk tonight?” Zeno took a deep breath and called back, “Of course, just a moment.”

With that, he hid the sword and changed into a different robe before heading out with his king.

\---------------

On Hiryuu’s wedding day, Zeno didn’t cry.

His king had gotten older, everyone had begun to wonder why he hadn’t married and produced an heir yet. It was something Zeno had felt coming since that first night they kissed but it was harder to hear it spoken aloud. 

Especially when his king had looked so upset about it. 

“Zeno...I-” The yellow dragon cut him off with a quick kiss, one that he was sad to think of as their last. “Shh, it’s okay...I know.” The looks they shared were ones of forced smiles but Zeno made sure to add, “...I’ll always love you, my king.” Hiryuu’s hands, rough from years of fighting, cupped his cheeks and his lips pressed a kiss to his forehead, “...And I you.” He whispered before heading off.

Zeno cried that night till his eyes were puffy, then at the wedding was nothing but smiles.

The other dragons didn’t seem to notice, too content on celebrating away with the rest of the castle...All except for Abi.

Dear, sweet Abi who wandered over to Zeno with a bit of hesitance. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. Zeno didn’t say anything back for a moment. It was no use lying, Abi always seemed like he knew how to read Zeno easily. So, he just took his hand and squeezed it, whispering back, “It’s okay.”

\--------------

Life continued on. Soon enough, their king had a son. A little prince who he proudly showed off to anyone who would take a moment to listen. (And sometimes even those who wouldn’t.)

Abi on that day had searched Zeno out and found him sitting on the edge of the wall like he had all those years ago. “Hi, Abi.” The blue dragon was quiet but sat down next to him and rest his head on Zeno’s shoulder. 

It was strange. He wasn’t one for much physical contact. At least, not unless initiated by someone else. Then, he would just put up with it for their sake. For him to start off by touching someone else...That was a big step. Though it was one he wouldn’t dare point out to him.

“Thanks.” He mumbled.

They sat in silence, enjoying one another’s company before Zeno broke it with a soft, “See anything interesting?”

Abi hummed, face stuck in that serious look it seemed to have more often than not, “...There are two squirrels fighting over some food over-” He pointed, “There.”

Zeno laughed, half at the ridiculousness of his “interesting” thing and half at how serious Abi was about it. “Really? Let me know when one of them wins.” 

Abi once again nodded and stared as if this was an important mission.

Zeno didn’t mind, especially when Abi informed him a few minutes later that a bird had swooped in to take away the food. Abi was good that way. He was serious about things that others might not consider so serious. It eased Zeno’s mind a lot and let him relax through whatever may be bothering him.

His heart hurt a little as he thought about how similar his feelings for Abi were to the ones he held for his king and he decided they’d continue to just stay nothing more than little thoughts.  
\------------

“Shh. Shuten, not here.” Hushed whispers, so quiet they may have been imagined. If not for the fact that Zeno could clearly see his two dear friends together. Shuten’s hair seemed to blend into the greenery surrounding him, if it hadn’t been for the bright blue of Abi’s hair he may have never seen them. 

Shuten had an arm on either side of Abi and his face buried deep into his shoulder as he whispered, “I just...Really needed you.” Abi seemed to hesitate after that before placing a hand on the back of Shuten’s head as he whispered, “And I you…”

Abi must have at least seen him, since he shoved Shuten away from him quickly and seemed to be about to produce a lie but Zeno only held up a finger in front of his lips and mouthed, ‘I didn’t see a thing.’

The fake smile and teary eyes as he walked away were things he would take to his grave…

If he even got a grave one day.

\------------

His king grew sick. 

Zeno grew to be the one to take care of him, as others were too worried about anyone else catching it and Zeno had told them all he had a strong immunity to illnesses.

It led to nights of sitting near him, talking whenever he was able to sit up for any long period of time.

Though... When the talk turned to that of age, Zeno lost it. His king, Gu-En, Shuten, and...Even Abi….They were all aging. His body, however, remained the same 17 year old he’d been for years. It scared him. He told his king just that as he leaned against him, crying and shaking like the night they’d shared years ago. His king, only sat there, doing his best to comfort him despite really not knowing what to say.

Maybe, he’d wanted to say something.

The next day though, he passed on without an answer to Zeno’s questions of what the ouryuu’s power really was.

Even when Zeno found himself at his grave, begging once again out loud for some sort of answer from the ouryuu or even from his king, there was no answer. Just cold wind that seeped into his bones.

\----------

Fights continued. Now that their king was gone, there was no one to protect, but the dragons continued to fight. Comforted by each other’s presences at least...Until the incident happened with Abi.

When he was captured, Shuten and Gu-En had forced Zeno to stay behind. They claimed he’d just get in the way but he was pretty sure they just didn’t want him to have to see what conditions Abi was in.

Not that it mattered when they returned and Abi began to cover his eyes with a strip of cloth. He’d retreated further into himself than Zeno had ever seen after Hiryuu’s death, keeping himself in his room except for when called upon, but this was a new level. Now he would barely even talk to his fellow warriors...Not Shuten...Not even to Zeno.

That had been part of Zeno’s motivation for offering to stay behind at the castle when everyone else wanted to leave. Leaving was what Abi needed. It was actually what they all really needed at this point. 

Shuten needed to travel. The green dragon needed to fly through the air and see the world. Gu-En really needed to find a place to settle down, the years having taken a toll on his body to the point that he’d calmed a lot. Abi...Abi needed to be away from this. Reminders of Hiryuu were everywhere. He needed to be somewhere where he didn’t have to feel like a dragon warrior. He deserved somewhere he could sit with the birds and just relax. Who was Zeno to take that away from him? To take it away from any of them?

So he stayed. 

And despite his promise to Gu-En, he never visited any of them.

Not even his sweet, quiet Abi, who he never even got to call his.

\---------------

He’d left the castle behind along with his medallion. He’d tried his best to leave his memories of all of them there. If he left, maybe he’d be able to forget how bad it hurt to be in a world without any of them. He could escape the idea that he was alone here. 

No matter what he tried though, the medallion returned. Along with the memories associated with it. “Why can’t you just leave?” He whispered, clutching the gold tight in his hand. “Why? Why do you have to torture me? Is it funny?” A laugh escaped him, “Is it funny to see me like this, ouryuu? Do you like that I’m alone?” 

It was strange though...He wasn’t alone. He could feel a strange the presence of the other dragons. Faint and far away...But they were there. 

Maybe, he wasn’t really alone?

When he went to see if maybe Gu-En had returned somehow, it was shocking to see that instead of him, there was a new white dragon. A boy he didn’t recognize, with short white hair now had Gu-En’s arm. It...It felt wrong. He was really happy to see that he wasn’t alone, that at least was nice... But to see someone other than Gu-En standing there with the dragon blood flowing through him it felt-

His thoughts were torn away from him as archers appeared, ready to shoot before he could even defend himself. 

Despite his attempts to run, the arrows pierced his skin on his back and he tumbled down the hill. 

It was hard to get the motivation to get up. The pain in his back was bad yes, but it was more that he didn’t feel he deserved to get up anymore. If he continued to lay there, maybe he could rot eventually. Or...Maybe he could pretend that could happen. Pretend that if he waited, he would be able to waste away to nothing. Finally, he’d match how he felt…

He must’ve passed out at some point...Because when he awoke, there was a girl there. A tiny, frail looking little thing. Brown hair chopped short and hands rough despite her appearance. She must be a hard worker...Not that it mattered. She’d taken care of him but he still didn’t think it’d matter for long. She’d disappear in time. Everyone did.

Only, she didn’t. He stuck around and found that the girl, Kaya, was sick. Sick but...Bright. The way she acted was so much more lively. She knew she wouldn’t have a long life, unlike Zeno she was living her life to the fullest. Enjoying the time she had even if neither of them were sure exactly how long that was.

On a night she was particularly bad he reached out to who he’d been running from. “Ouryuu...Please. Please any of you if you can hear me...I’m not asking for much. I just want you to take whatever you gave me and give it to her.” Tears welled up in his eyes as thoughts of Hiryuu and Abi entered his mind. “You’ve taken everyone else...Please not her. I’ll take her illness onto myself. I’ll take all of it. So please...Please. Let her live…”

Silence was the only thing he was met with.

\-----------

When she fell asleep holding his hand, he waited. Waited for her to wake up. Waited for her to say it was a joke and that she was miraculously healed. Waited for a sign that the dragon gods had heard his prayers.

What he got instead, was a hand that slowly rotted away into bones.

He was again, alone.

Burying Kaya hadn’t been a grand affair. It was a quiet little plot near her house. The only sign she’d ever been alive was the house, the scarf he’d taken from her, and a terrible little grave of sticks he’d made to let people know that she was there. 

As he walked away from another loved one, he whispered, “Thanks, ouryuu.”

That was the last time he believed in the gods and the last day he ever spoke a word to them.

\------------

A realization hit him. Hiryuu...Could return. How had he never thought of it before? If the dragons reincarnated then surely...Surely his king would as well. His reason for being would be restored and even if it turned out to never happen...Zeno could keep going if he told himself that.

So he traveled….Waiting for a sign that his king had come again. 

It wasn’t until one day when he’d traveled very close to the hakuryuu village that he saw it. A bit of red peeking through the trees. Climbing the tree had been painful. Splinters pushed into his skin only to be pushed right back out and cut dragged across his skin but it had been worth it if only to see the bright red sun staining the sky that day.

That was it.

That was his sign, his king had returned. 

“Oh!” 

Looking over, a little white haired boy wrapped tightly in a bit of cloth stared at him with bright blue eyes. 

The hakuryuu…

“Oh, it seems I’ve taken your spot...Well, don’t mind me.” The hesitance was clear on the young boys face but he sat down next to Zeno anyways and stared at the sky. 

“...Beautiful isn’t it?” Zeno whispered as he looked at it. The little boy nodded, “...Yes. For some reason...It feels like it’s pulling me in…You...Aren’t yo-” 

Zeno blinked in surprise, ready to say something back until a soft sneeze cut him off and the tension in the air. He laughed softly, “Let’s get you dressed, shall we? Wouldn’t do for you to catch a cold.”

The little boy nodded and clambered down the tree with Zeno close behind. He’d feared he would send him off the moment they got down but to his surprise. The young boy pulled him by the hand to where his clothes were. “Attend me?” 

Ah, he probably wasn’t used to putting his clothes on himself yet. 

Zeno hummed a bit as he shrugged off the fabric and pulled on his pants, “You know...Showering in the morning might give you a cold one of these days.” The boy shrugged, “It’s okay.” 

He noticed the boys scar, eyebrows furrowing as he pushed the robe over his shoulders. “When you get bigger, the scar should fade so-”

“It’s okay.” Zeno paused as the boy continued, “I hope it doesn’t fade. I just...I bathe in the mornings because everyone looks sad when they see it so I…” Stiffening, he turned on his heel to stare at Zeno, “What I said was unnecessary...I’m sorry.” 

Zeno laughed as he heard people calling for the young hakuryuu. 

“Suppose that means I should go…Goodbye, kid.” 

Pulling up his hood, he went to leave but heard him say, “Wait! You-Aren’t you-?”

Ah, so he really had realized. No matter, he couldn’t stay. So he whispered,

“If the time comes...We’ll meet again. Definitely.” 

With that, he was gone from the village of hakuryuu.

\-------------

Now that he’d been there, he figured he may as well stop to meet the other dragons he was sure he’d come to know.

Upon entering the seiryuu village he could tell things were...Off. This was nothing like the hakuryuu village. All of the people traded looks of suspicion and he just gave them smiles back. It wasn’t until he saw a small boy in a mask, following behind a much taller man with long blue hair. Ah, the seiryuu’s were not welcomed here…

Looking over, he noticed a stall selling children’s toys and looked back at the young boy in tattered clothes, struggling to keep up with the much taller man. 

“...Sir? How much for this ball?” 

\-------------

This was it. The boy was alone.

He rolled the ball towards him and watched as he leaned down to pick the ball up in confusion.

“It’s for you,” Zeno gave the boy a smile that faded as soon as he saw the boy’s confusion. Had no one ever shown him this kindness? It was quickly resolved when the boy bowed and dropped the ball in the process of thanking him.

“Here you are.” Passing the ball back to him, Zeno gave him a small smile. It also seemed like the boy was about to say something to him when a loud voice yelled, “Seiryuu!”

Oh. It was the bigger man from earlier...Who he now heard was named Ao. “Sorry, I was just stopping by. Hey…Make sure you take care of that man.” Zeno nodded towards Ao. If he knew the process behind there being a new dragon...He knew that Ao didn’t have long and the more his powers abandoned him, the more painful it was going to get. It seemed like a lot of pressure to put on a little boy but the boy took away those worries by assuring him of how important he was. “...Hey,” He put his hand on the boy’s hair, ruffling it gently. “If we meet again, let’s play together.” 

With that, he walked away with a only a slight wave.

Even if they were never needed by Hiryuu’s reincarnation, he was going to make sure he met this boy again. They would play together again.

\------------------------

Finding the green dragon had been a shock. 

Chained to the wall, the green dragon was laying on the ground on a thin bit of cloth. His clothes looked ragged and there were obvious signs of abuse. The blue dragon village had been bad...But this, this was definitely bad. Taking off his cloak, he sent a small prayer off to Shuten,wishing he were here to see this. If he could, he would kill all of them. 

He set his cloak on him and smoothed his hair down. They’d never be able to truly keep the green dragon here. He just hoped there would be a way for him to be freed soon. 

Staring at the chains, he tugged them a bit but frowned. It wasn’t that he expected himself to be able to break them, but he did wish that he was able to. This was horrifying. 

“The next time I see you...I’m going to protect you...I’m going to protect all of you.” That, he swore over and over in his head and he’d continue to swear it until he could fulfill it.

\------------------------

When they did re-meet, Zeno fulfilled his promise. Over and over again to make sure they’d all be safe as long as he could. 

Kija was adorable with his fear of bugs and insistent need to prove himself to everyone. Especially when it came to Jaeha, it reminded him of years ago when he could see Shuten and Abi sneaking off together when they thought no one could see. Jaeha also was cute with the way he put up these walls of flirting and self-confidence to hide how truly insecure he was. Seeing them let their walls down enough to be happy made Zeno feel like things were going to be alright. Zeno prayed it would last, they deserved their little bit of happiness they’d managed to find.

Yona was everything he’d hoped for in a reincarnation of Hiryuu. Strong, beautiful, and brave. Looking at her made him feel so much pride. Especially whenever she managed to end a conflict so easily, without resorting to war when that seemed to be the only solution. Pride welled up in his stomach anytime she solved something and he was proud to serve her.

Plus, while he was not very close to Hak, it was beautiful to see their relationship flourish. The way they spoke to one another and tried to hide their feelings...It never failed to make him smile.

Yoon had been an unexpected bonus as well to this. The young boy didn’t deserve all of this. He should be in a town somewhere, happy and safe. Still, Zeno was glad that he was here. Honestly, they’d probably all be dead if Yoon wasn’t here to feed them or fix them up after battles. No matter how much Zeno teased him, he hoped Yoon stayed as sweet as he was now.

Then...Then there was Shin-ah. How could he describe Shin-ah? At first, he’d been content with playing with him. Fulfilling that promise he’d made all those years ago had been what was important to him. Now...Now it was a lot different. He’d gotten to know the shy blue dragon. Teaching him about the world and in turn getting a fresh, innocent perspective on everything he’d thought he’d known. It didn’t help that anytime he caught a glance at those beautiful eyes, he thought of the man he’d never confessed to centuries ago...

To be honest? It scared him. Terrified even.

Which is why he was out here sitting on the edge of the camp alone. “...Gods, I’m screwed aren’t I?” A bitter laugh escaped him. Gods...What could they do for him? Nothing. They’d do nothing. They had done nothing when Hiryuu had grown sick, nothing to save his fellow dragons, nothing to save Kaya, nothing to end this terribly long life...Nothing. So why would they do anything to help him when he once again found himself in love with someone who would die long before he ever would. 

Just when he found himself a little family that he could see himself being happy, it was all going to come crashing down.

“Mind if I join you?” It was clear that it was Jaeha’s voice, but Zeno didn’t turn to look at him. Choosing instead to give him a quick nod. “Of course! Zeno doesn’t mind at all!”

Jaeha gave him a smile and sat down on the log next to him. The silence stretched on for a while before Jaeha broke it with a quiet, “The moon is beautiful tonight isn’t it?” Zeno smiled, “Yes, yes it is. The moonlight is...Very beautiful...” 

“Yeah...Which is why you should stop being a coward and go confess. Stop pining after him already.” 

Zeno’s eyes widened and he sputtered for a response, only to hear a quiet laugh. “You’re not subtle. Neither is Shin-ah actually. He stares at you a lot. Not to mention, you and Yona are pretty much the only ones who he removes his mask around. It’s pretty obvious how much you like one another.” Jaeha gave him a quick smile but it only made Zeno’s stomach turn.

“It’s not as simple as that.” Jaeha’s brow furrowed as Zeno continued, “I told you all about my past a bit but...I’ve loved many people Jaeha. None of them have ended well. They all either die or...or...No, that’s it. They die. Whether or not they know I love them it doesn’t matter. They still die. At this point it’s be-” He was cut off by a smack to the back of his head that sent him flying to the ground. 

When he looked up, Kija was standing there with a hand on his hip, “You’re stupid.” Jaeha seemed to pout, “Kija, I was going to tell him that.” Kija rolled his eyes in annoyance, “I don’t care. Zeno, you care about Shin-ah, right?” When Zeno went to answer, Kija held up his dragon hand as if to threaten him, “Don’t answer that. I know you do. Shin-ah cares about you as well. Did you ever have someone you loved but didn’t tell?” 

This time it seemed like he was going to let him answer so he mumbled, “...Yes.” Kija sighed, “And that’s exactly why you need to say something. I don’t need you to say it because I know you regret it. Now, if you don’t go tell Shin-ah right now, I’m going to have to motivate you.” 

Zeno’s eyes flicked to the hand Kija was still holding up and paused before nodding, “You’re right...You’re right and…” Taking a deep breath, “I’ll do it.”

Standing up, he took a deep breath and walked off to find Shin-ah.

\----------------------------

When he found Shin-ah, he was sitting alone next to the river. Ao was asleep at his feet and when Zeno approached, he hesitantly slid the mask up. “Zeno.” 

All of his thoughts flew out of the window at the sight of Shin-ah’s beautiful eyes and smile that seemed reserved only for him. “Shin-ah...Hi...How are yo-Ya know what? No.” Waving his hand, he sat down next to Shin-ah and cleared his throat, “Shin-ah, do you…” He could do this. He’d done a lot harder than this. Saying he loved Shin-ah shouldn’t be that hard. How had he done this before?...Actually that wasn’t a good example. He hadn’t done it. Usually it wasn’t him that confessed. So now that he wanted to it was a lot harder than he’d ever thought it would be.  
“Ze-” “Shi-” They both went to speak at the same time and a fierce blush appeared on Shin-ah’s face.”...Go ahead.” 

Zeno waited, taking what felt like an hour but what must have been only a few minutes before he whispered, “I...Shin-ah I’ve been around for a long time. I’ve loved quite a few people...Wait, no that came out wrong. I mean...What I’m trying to say is I’ve dated before and every time I’ve confessed...Well, I haven’t. I usually sit on it until someone else says something but...This is a situation in which I ca-”

Soft lips covering his own and calloused hands on his cheeks cut him off before his rambling could really continue.

The kiss was hesitant, lasting only for a few moments before Shin-ah pulled away and yanked his mask back on. “...I love you too.” He whispered so softly Zeno wasn’t sure he’d actually said it.

oh.  
Oh.  
OH.

He...He was an idiot wasn’t he? 

Laughing a bit under his breath, he took Shin-ah’s hand and rest his head on his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

The silence that surrounded them afterwards felt nice. Most of Zeno’s life was full of regrets and silence. So much so that he grew to hate it. But...Now? Now there were no regrets and the silence felt comforting rather than strangling. 

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he deserved it. This life may be terribly long, but every once in a while he could have good things.One day he could feel differently about this but he was glad in the moment. He didn’t need any regrets holding him back. Deepin his soul, he could feel Hiryuu, Abi, Kaya telling him to let himself be happy.

And right now? He was going to listen to them and enjoy this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you've enjoyed it and feel free to message me about my headcanons at any time because I love to talk about them.


End file.
